nonbinary heterosexuality: is it real?

 i've recently watched a video discussing the idea of nonbinary heterosexuality and i found it a really interesting view of how my friends view me when i go on these rants where i turn into "the friend that's too woke"

i've been told the way i explain things (like this) can be annoying so i've opted to talk less but this is not a vent post this is a cathartic post

i've consistently been running with the etymology definitions of these terms, meaning non-binary people dating anyone that isn't non-binary is straight because homo- means "of the same" and hetero- means "different; other" but the main flaw in this thought process is that "enby" isn't a gender* 

 

it's just a label for anything that doesn't fit between the gender binary of male and female. this means that an agender person could date a bigender person and it still be straight, but this also doesn't take into account — i shit you not — vibe.

 

vibe is, for the sake of this conversation, a label representing how someone decides to present themselves. a masc enby dating a femme enby gives a straight vibe despite it not fitting into the gender binary, and a masc man dating a masc woman gives a gay vibe despite it fitting into the gender binary (but falling into gender non-conformity) 

 

with "vibe" introduced, we can try to redefine heterosexuality to represent dating someone of an opposite vibe/presentation from oneself...

 

shit i forgot androgyny.

 

i say that as a half joke, mostly because no one can fit into perfect androgyny... i don't think... let me know if you've ever met anyone that fits that but i digress, no one can fit perfect androgyny, fitting them into a... vibe.. binary- fuck forget this whole post

 

its whatever.

be gay, do crime, do drugs (dont die), and fuck brian. 

 

thx for reading <3 

 

*well it can be but thats getting into the "do whatever you want whenever" mindset which can/can't be true or is/isn't true but thats a phat can o' worms im not going to open anytime soon

brain dump: video games

    In English class, we're currently taking a unit on argumentation (my favorite :3) and we had an assignment on that today. Specifically that assignment was on an article titled "Video Games: Bad for the Brain?" And no other piece of writing, in my personal opinion, has come so close yet so far to missing the point of what the real issue is regarding video games and younger people like kids and teenagers.

The article discusses multiple studies talking about how young people playing video games has a correlation with how badly or well they do in school. This is done by discussing studies from both sides. Studies where students who play lots of video games do worse, and studies that show students who play video games have increased. 

While this, and the article itself mentioning that correlation doesn't equal causation when discussing the former of the mentioned sides, this is an extremely binary way of looking at how video games affect students and doesn't take into account what video games actually are. 

Video games are nothing but entertainment.

    While yes, they can distract students from their work and that can result in worse grades and overall worse academic performance, so can TV shows, movies, et cetera! Video games are always written about and discussed like the second coming of Academic Satan (who I'm best friends with, by the way) but that's one of the most disingenuous ways of looking at things. Video games aren't any different from other medium, specifically in the way that it affects you psychologically. [citation needed]

 

 

What the article fails to do, even in its attempts to compensate, is to recognize that video games don't "impede academic performance" OR enhance it. It is entertainment. It has the capability to distract and the capability to teach the viewer something new. Video games don't influence people more than books do, and we read those all the time.

 

Alright, that's all I have to say, thanks for reading! <3 

brain dump: operating systems

    hi and welcome to the creatively and legally distinct blogsidething: brain dump

it is what it sounds like, i dump my thoughts into the blog when it isnt me thinking about killing myself

so i wanna talk about operating systems, specifically, the fact that

NOT FUCKING EVERYONE NEED LINUX

 i fucking hate it when tux's cux make themselves known to ANYONE trying to buy a computer by immediately sucking off linux's dick like a whore. what people keep forgetting is that different systems work for different people and that linux, while very customizeable, takes a bit to get used to and customize. 

 

its for nerdy computer people. 

 

windows has gotten more and more shitty over the years and I do believe that's peaked with windows 11, genuinely one of the shittest operating systems ive used in my entire life, just barely beat out by popOS /j

windows works for people who still do nerdy computer stuff but dont need to be doing nerdy shit 24/7. windows is simplified from linux and is a good operating system when it isn't burning your scalp off. 

 

its by and for casual nerdy computer people

 

macos, as much as i personally dislike apple, can genuinely be the best option for certain people. if you're someone who uses iphones and the icloud, airpods, and live in apple's ecosystem, a macos computer will seamlessly integrate itself with your workflow and you'll be able to work very well in coordination with your other devices. its a secure operating system as well, with less viruses infecting macos computers than windows and linux [citation needed]  

 

its for people who want a computer but dont wanna look like nerdy computer people.

 

i encourage discussion and argument in the comments but i doubt that people will genuinely care enough to do anything like that lmfao
thx for reading <3 

Anti-Intellectualism

“It’s not that deep” 

is an extremely common phrase uttered by people of most demographics, old people, young people, all genders, sexualities and more. But the one consistency with this phrase, no matter who it’s uttered by, is if someone is speaking about an activity they enjoy, if someone is discussing a real issue affecting people, no matter the topic, if someone is passionate about something and they hear the phrase “it’s not that deep,” it is either one of the most disappointing things you can hear or the most infuriating thing you can hear. I choose the second option, myself.

But why? Why do I let this obvious “rage-bait” get me so riled up? Why do people feel sad when they’re told this? Because it is one of the most invalidating things you could say to someone being passionate about a topic. Not just because it’s rude, but because it’s a full dismissal of someone and their ideas, which they clearly identify with on a personal level. But it’s not only a dismissal of passion but of information.

When someone discusses a real issue plaguing a community or a problematic behavior pattern that could evolve into something worse (i.e. a pipeline of some sort) and someone says “it’s not that deep” or “you’re reading into it too much,” this plays into a belief system labeled “anti-intellectualism.” This mindset is the base idea of dismissing any form of higher thought with an intent to just be content with what’s told to them; “Ignorance is bliss” taken literally. 

 

The idea of intentionally ignoring or blocking out information that generally makes you unhappy is downright, (excuse my informality) one of the dumbest, intentionally ignorant and moronic things I’ve ever heard about or experienced.

The entire joke of “that friend who’s too woke” being a relatable sentiment is a telltale sign that anti-intellectualism is becoming more and more common with the social media age as people try to enjoy themselves without confronting the real issue with the things they find comforting; convenience over ethics.

Temu, Amazon, and Shein are mostly used as prime examples of unethical but convinent methods of shopping, Streaming has been shown to barely pay artists as fairly as they should be and certain jokes have limits to how they’re said, what they really mean and their origins. There are alternatives, you don’t have to choose any these options. But people have been so conditioned to not care about these things that they don’t view any of these examples as real issues.

That general apathy towards the general ethics of things is one of the biggest things holding communities back. Black people giving “n-word passes,” younger generations stealing and using slang formed from marginalized communities and convenient shopping methods are all things that are all too common nowadays but if you bring up any of the obvious flaws with these things, people dismiss it. They ignore your criticisms. They want to enjoy things regardless of their flaws.

Convenience over ethics.

 

NOT MONTHLY update! (and a low-key vent)

 yurrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!

so i skipped a month for the not monthly update and to be quite honest, not much has gone down

therapy has still been going smooth, its october and i wanna try a pumpkin spice latte for the first time. maybe those are up already

i'm trying to run stage crew for theatre again, that was really fun last year! a definite highlight of my sophomore year. im also doing a bass guitar audition for a live music performance so that's funnn
i still fuckin suck at bass hahaha, i'm not a very good player right now but i'm still gonna audition because it seems fun

ap computer science has been a weird mix of me not doing any work out of boredom and accidentally going past the curriculum because my nerdy ass is trying to do shit that we havent gotten to in the lesson yet lmfao
its been quite fun though and i've been enjoying my time there. the teacher is really cool and the people at my table are quite fun to talk to

my main issues are procrastination, consistency and discipline
i keep pushing deadlines in my head when they arent flexible, i still dont do any fucking homework and i keep making promises to people, not even just in school just in general, that i continue to break and embarrass myself and waste other people's time 

im not feeling very good with myself but hey! at least im doing okay at school! and education is my top priority anyways so nothing else matters, including my feelings!!!!!

i've been thinking of making a vent page that gets updated at random whenever i wanna whine about shit

shoutout to the randomly consistent hundreds of people that read these posts, im assuming 99% of them are bots lmfao
but still, thank you to my friends who read my blog
i promise at some point i'll write an actually good post and not just another public diary entry 

thats mostly it for now, ttyl <3 

happy murica (+ end to monthly updates)

hello!!!

july was interesting
i failed summer school, which sucks but its whateve

im learning gamemaker which is cool, hopefully i finally commit to it and actually try to make something

i uhh... dont havc much to say, im not very good at remembering... i gotta write shit down more often for you guys, you people deserve better blogging... uhhhh

okay im back on the edit page, and i regret to say, i dont have enough to write about to justify monthly updates


i will at least make 5 posts on here a year though. at MINIMUM
there will be more in the future

catch you [slur]s on the flipslide

lil bit early but here ya go

 heres ur monthly update just a couple days shy off july!

apologies for being so... boring, on the blog. i kinda just started one to start it, yk, but sadly that isnt sustainable for a while, haha!

of course, ill keep trying to give updates and write about stuff but at this point i need to keep a journal for how much stuff i do over an entire month.

actual updates: im in summer school, womp womp. i failed english so now i have to retake it, at least its only 1 class during the summer. I RELEASED AN EXTENDED PLAYLIST!! (ep)

PYRIDOXINE IS OUT
https://goh-amed.bandcamp.com/album/pyridoxine

i am really proud of it, despite it being like, 6 files in my export folder i threw into an ep
no regrets, tbh
even with how i haphazardly put this together, im still really proud of how it came out
despite its origins, id say its still quite cohesive and, dare i say, symbiotic

i went to my first ever pride event!! it was incredibly fun and really enjoyable! they had drag queens and drag kings and... more drag stuff (lol)
EVERYONE THERE WAS SO PRETTY AND I WISH I HAD THE GUTS TO ACTUALLY ASK SOMEONE FOR THEIR NUMBER
but alas, yaboi stays single for yet another day, and it remains to be seen how long they will remain alone

lastly, last of us pt2 has been a blast
i beat the fuck out of someone with a metal pipe (iykyk)
i thoroughly enjoyed the gore and blood that the game displays, i deadass had to pause the game after i used the shotfun for the first time 

 

welp, thats all i have to say, thank you so much for reading
by the way if you're reading this and you're like around 16 years old please hit me up with romantic interest pleasepleaseplease (joking)

alrighty! peace, love, and homosexuality!

HAPPY PRIDE

 happy pride to all my fag readers!!!

 im really happy this month because i do plan on going to the pride parade with some of my friends and stuff but yk how it is
even if i am queer and nonbinary and shit, i still look like a dude

BODY DYSPHORIA!!! YAY!!!! 

in terms of music... i wont say much but i got something cooking... stay patient :3

the show has been moving slowly, and thats on purpose
i gotta focus a lot on school and what's going on there AND other stuff like therapy
though i do enjoy the process of filmmaking and all that so the current plan if i dont go thru with the show is to probably make a microfilm of sorts to just film and have fun, yk?

speaking of therapy
my therapist literally said that she's going to be leaving next week and like, what the fuck? hahahahah
i cant hate, she works a job and she got a better offer, and i cant dislike her for that
i just wish the best for her

today i got therapy with her and another therapist, my new one after my first one leaves

alrighty, thats all for now, if i come up with more to write, ill maybe make a mid-month post
also the only hint ill give for the last post is that it has 3 layers of obfuscation

OH and I hope you all enjoy the new ui! i rolled it out way early last month but i never acknowledged it hahaha

again, happy pride month and thanks for reading! 
peace, love, and homosexuality. <3

  

nwna rajp lkop

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may update

 your favorite bi-enby is here for the monthly update! april was fucking crazy.

 

first therapy session (and subsequent)
met a new group of friends
went to somebody else's house for the first time (shut up, this is a big win for me)

and even more shit that doesnt even revolve around me

 

april in general was kinda crazy for everyone but overall i was pretty happy with what happened. more pros than cons, yk?

 

i do apologize to you people, my readers, for my extremely lackluster writing and such that can make my blogs a bit disengaging but i promise that in due time that i'll be writing more and better

 

oh yeah... IM WRITING A FUCKIN' TV SHOW!!!

so in the term of april, i reached out to my local public access tv station, "PAC14" and I asked about their "local producer" program
turns out, i can just write, edit and publish a full tv show as long as it fulfills their guidelines!!

im really happy about this and have been riding this creative high for a while since writing this show and coming up with ideas has been incredibly fulfilling and I cant wait for the completed product, though i am kinda forced to wait since im making it and want it to look good

i already have a plan for distributing the thing and a lot of other stuff, at the moment im just trying to figure out the plot/story and eventually scripting, filming and editing the thing. since i felt like it, i just decided to act out the entire thing alone. of course that comes with its own negatives and positives but i have zero regrets.

BUT im not working on it alone! my friend Elliot (misspelled) and Sushe are helping me out with the show on production and writing, respectively! it's been great to bounce ideas back and forth with them and they've both been great helps in figuring out the show.

if you two are reading this, thank you and love you guys! 


anyways, thats about it for may, ill try to write better in the future
thanks for reading! peace, love, and homosexuality. <3

happy april!!

 probably gonna try and go for 1 post a month
so stay tuned if you care!!

 today i want to talk about gettin' motha fuckin' THERAPY!!!!!!!!!!! and what im going to talk about

one of the main things i want to bring up is too personal for this blog, get fucked, loser <3
the other things i want to talk about is my procrastination in school, my apparent sociopathy during whats supposed to be incredibly emotional moments, etc.

  theatre clubs gonna be performing this week, tech week... im so fucked, dude hahahaha
the mics are being weird with delay effects and gain weirdness. ambigiously labelled soundboard and music issues. it'll require my absolute focus so we'll see.

 alr thx for reading! peace, love and homosexuality!!! <3

generic update postt

YURRRR

birthday updates:

• new laptop
• money
• 300gb drive
• moved back from linux to windows
• 2 boyfriends!!!

 

its been a really good march! really going well
i just gotta lock in, school-wise on these missing assignments or im fucked tbh hahahaha

thx for reading, apologies for the infrequent updates

makin a video game (almost certain to not do this)

 OKAY SO CHECK IT:

i wanna make a video game but one of the main things in a video game is story and/or plot. I cannot come up with either.

i do believe i can take the time to develop something like a small 2d platformer a-la Animal Well but at the moment im not even sure what animal well's plot is.
not to say there isnt one, but i cant find it nor understand it so :shrug:

the game idea is kinda an idea to come from a few different games
plot: getting over it = go up (but in a dungeon)
art direction/original idea: animal well
aesthetic: dark souls (dungeon)

im currently using Obsidian to write down some notes and plan out the course of development and the overall game

im decently confident but there is doubt

19 days.

 MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 19 DAYS BITTTTTCH

i will hopefully have a job by then and also be able to purchase myself some gifts

got a new track coming out on the 18th too so look out for dat
shoutout to my friend heidi for doing the album art, she a goat fr

moneymoneymoney

a kewl new game (mod) i found! :D

Team Fortress 2. A lot of people play it but the game in it's modern state has made many people feel as though that the game has lost its shine, its glimmer. TF2 is "past its prime." That's why a group of people ended up taking and rebuilding older versions of TF2 onto the NEW SDK that Valve just released. And thus:

Team Fortress 2: Gold Rush - The Source Mod was introduced.

(Technically the mod was introduced way before Valve released the TF2 SDK but whatever.)

 

The mod's being worked on my someone named Conneath and Jasper as well as many other contributors and team members.

They basically port old TF2 files while still modernizing them and adding small quality of life improvements as well as keeping that old TF2 magic. They describe "The Golden Age of TF2" as 2007 to 2010, just before the Mann-Conomy update.

My personal favorite part about the source mod is the fanbase, a group of people who loved and have played TF2 for years and try to have fun instead of trying to get around bots or such. TF2: GR cuts the fluff and focuses on making the game as fun as possible, rather than as profitable as possible.

As someone who was but a sperm cell when Team Fortress 2 released, I'm happy that the TF2:GR team are doing what they're doing because it allows me to experience what the game was like in it's prime. I wasn't around for when the original game was in its golden age so this makes me very very happy.

Currently they've just finished the Heavy Update and are presumably working on the Scout Update, considering they're doing the updates in chronological order from the original game's release. Can't wait!

update: they are not working on the scout update. 😔

logo art by misteki!

 

taking some time between albums

alright, im FINALLY talking about something else

ive been thinking alot about my music and its quality and ive found myself really thinking about how much ive been releasing.
i released two albums in 2024, space frogs and i'm a cat, meow. the former being a full 30 minutes in 12* tracks and the latter being only 14 minutes in 8 songs. 

I released two albums in one year. and listening back to them, they sound good! but i feel like they could've been a million times better.
i'm gonna start trying to take more time in honing my music down so my next album is much much better. i really wanna pull a "sports in '83" if you catch my drift. really come into my own, commercially and artistically. 

I was just really... kinda sad that ive been taking so long to come up with some good music but really im focusing on the wrong thing. i need to actually figure out my tone as a musician before creating tracks.

 quality, over quantity.

*i dont really count "birthday" and "Message From the Artist" as "songs" per se, just tracks.

i should really talk about other stuff

 lmfao every post on this dumbass blog has been a rant, i really wish i could gain the energy to write something that isnt just "wahhhhhhh"
i love "wah wah wah" by king gizzard and the lizard wizard off their album "nonagon infinity"

apologies, got a little off track
but uhhh yeah i was gonna talk about how... i really do need to talk about something that isnt just my feelings or how my day is going. oh and dont get the impression these are gonna be updated daily, this is just a spoof, i might possibly forget about this blog like maybe next week... that better not happen i spend a full 1 dollar and 16 cents on this domain name

arghhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

 you ever wake up, feeling like absolute shit?
thats literally it, thats the whole post, it's just me complaining because holy shit ive felt so horrible this ENTIRE DAY i literally cant

 i love this blog because its literally a great outlet for my emo ass feelings at the moment

"WAHH IM SO LONELY"
"WAHH IM SO UGLY"
"WAHH IM SO STUPID"

etc, etc.

i'm trying to look into therapy but i just dont know how. 90% of the friends i have all got therapy from a close source like a parent or a friend. i keep asking but just.. forget to see.

theres this place by my house, like a 5 minute walk im really hoping i can get a job there. i could make minimum wage, which, for someone who currently makes $0/hr IS A PRETTY BIG FUCKIN' IMPROVEMENT

 

alrighty thats all, baiiiiiii

First Post, lmfao

 So! I finally started a fuckin' blog! Took me long enough.

 Recently, this valentine's day I took a day off of Discord considering how much I really just didn't wanna deal with sociality and stuff. It felt nice but I miss my boyfriend and such... jeez I hope no one I know personally finds this.

 

HERE'S TO MORE POSTS!! (most likely inconsistent posts but what're you gonna do? :shrugging_person: 

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